The Old Jail, Westerham

The Lovely Jemma's parents live in leafy Biggin Hill, right on the border of London and Kent. When visiting we often take a walk around the surrounding countryside. Biggin Hill is in the London borough of Bromley but walking through the rolling fields it feels a million miles away from the big smog of the capital. There are plenty of pubs in the surrounding area for the thirsty rambler, including the Queens Head and the Aperfield Inn, both of which I've written about previously. Be careful when going into the Queen's Head though, as humble man of the people and millionaire city banker Nigel Farage lives in the area, and you may just find him in the pub necking 100 pints in one sitting or whatever down to earth activity the papers are portraying him doing.

When on our walks there is one pub we frequent more than others, mainly because it's just far enough to make the walk worthwhile but not long enough to get me whining like a little girl who has dropped her ice cream down a drain. The Old Jail is a Enterprise inn with a comfortable countryside feel inside, all low beams and old wooden furniture, and a sizeable beer garden outside. I think the reason I haven't written about this pub is that it's a bit, well, "vanilla." The ales are in good nick but the selection doesn't get any more exciting than Harvey's Best Bitter, and the food is good but I'm writing about pubs, not restaurants. It's certainly a nice place to stop if you happen to be in the area but it's not worth making a special journey for. However last week they held a beer festival which is just about noteworthy enough to write about, and quite frankly it's been a quiet week for blog content.

My heart sank a little when the beer list posted on their Facebook page included Doom Bar and Bombardier, but I also noticed there were a couple of local Westerham Brewery beers on which I hadn't tried before so I headed down. The festival setup was quite jolly, with a decent food tent and some arts and crafts stalls. After nosing around the stalls and buying some delicious home made salad dressing, I popped to the back of the garden, where the beers where being served in a hidden corner behind fencing. The beers seemed to be the shameful secret rather than the main event. The Westerham Brews were available so I tried their Bonfire and Hop Bomb. The Bonfire was very pleasant, a solid best bitter perfect for a slightly chilly autumn afternoon. The Hop Bomb was OK but it had a slight sourness to it which I didn't find appealing. I also tried a Sharps Special which despite my low expectations was actually pretty good, a strong bitter which would easily warm the soul on a long autumn night.

Despite the slight chill the sunshine was out and we enjoyed hog roast sandwiches along with the beer. There was a good turn out and hopefully it will encourage the Jail to do more beer fests in the future as it was pretty good overall. It always pleases me to see pubs doing these community days, and if some local traders and breweries get some business out of it all the better. Cheers.

Eltham GPO and The Claret, Addiscombe

I recently had the chance to visit two pubs nearby to me that I'd heard good things about but hadn't had the chance to visit. First up was the Eltham GPO. This is a recently opened Antic pub in the suburban mediocrity that is Eltham. The town already has one decent boozer, the Park Tavern, and the GPO is conveniently located on the same road as the Tavern. In a former life the GPO was called The Old Post Office, and it was a chav infested Jaegarbomb spewing hellhole best avoided by everyone. Now that Antic have got their grubby mitts on it the place has been spruced up, but also spruced down, being furnished with vintage furniture and sporting exposed piping and walls as part of the decor.

Having been impressed with the beer selection at the Baring Hall Hotel, another new opening from Antic in nearby Grove Park, I was looking forward to more exciting beers here. However the landlord has played it safe with the beer selection at the GPO, with five solid if not very exciting ales on offer, including Timothy Taylor Landlord. I opted for a pint of local brewery Hopstuff Fusilier, which was a classic best bitter. It was in good nick and went down perfectly with a very tasty Fish and Chip dinner, chosen from a food menu which again plays it very safe with pub classics such as sausage and mash. I did enjoy my time here and would stop in if I happened to be in the area, but unlike the Baring Hall I didn't feel it was a pub worth going out of the way to visit. Hopefully with two pubs in such close proximity to each other, the Park Tavern and Eltham GPO might step up their game ale selection wise.

Over to Croydon which despite its grim exterior and sometimes questionable inhabitants, it is bereft with decent pubs. In nearby Addiscombe is the Claret Free House. Unassuming from the outside, it looks like it could be a wine bar or restaurant. But inside there's no doubting this is a traditional local boozer, with a long bar and mock tudor interior. Five handpumps displayed a tantalizing selection of beer.

The Claret is "famous" for serving Palmers Best Bitter, with a certificate proudly displayed proclaiming that they have served over 1,000,000 pints. It would be rude not to try it and after a sip I could see why they sell so much. This was a easy drinking, slightly floral ale that went down a treat, perfect for a session or a quick one after work. Next up was W.J King Lost Kingdom. This was a heavier bitter, with gentle raisin notes in the aftertaste. It was fine but not as charming as the Palmers. Finally there was the Westerham Puddledock Porter. With its low ABV this was a light and refreshing porter, not too heavy on the coffee notes. This is the first porter I've ever described as refreshing.

A small collection of regulars were in, and the crowd got bigger as the afternoon wore on towards clocking off time. A telly in the corner was showing the cricket and I got the pleasure of watching England perform terribly in the Twenty20. It was a relaxed, welcoming atmosphere and although I was the youngest customer in there by far, I never felt uncomfortable. A pub well worth visiting if you're in the area.

The Spreadeagle, Croydon and a return to the General Wolfe

Croydon must have seemed amazing to visitors back in the 60's. I can imagine visitors being enthralled as they drove their Ford Cortina down a sweeping dual carriageway buffered by soaring multi storey buildings. There's even an underpass in case tall buildings scare you. It would have been a shining beacon to the adversity of Britain, that a shimmering new town can rise from the rubble of bombed out ruins. I'm probably romanticising it a bit but I like to think Croydon was exciting once. Sadly nowadays it's pretty grim, the buildings ageing and imposing, the roads unable to cope with the 21st century levels of traffic, and the people ready to stab you at a moments notice. However Croydon does have a Waitrose and an artisan bakery has recently sprung up, so maybe things are looking up.

Nestled in the rather grubby town centre, across the road from the cultural delights of Tiger Tiger and the 80's Reflex bar, is The Spread Eagle. A large Fullers Ale & Pie house it is a welcoming, cosy oasis in the wilds of Croydon. It boasts an impressive interior, with two large chandeliers above the bar and a sweeping staircase to one side. The place was busy but me and The Lovely Jemma managed to grab a seat on some sofa's in the corner. The long bar serves the standard Fullers ale range, and although a guest beer from the local Cronx brewery was advertised on a blackboard behind the bar, it appears it was off as there was no mention of it on the handpulls.

I never find the Fullers range very exciting. I usually resort to getting a Chiswick or a ESB depending on how pissed I'm willing to get, but with neither on offer I started with a HSB from Gale's. This ended up being a good choice of pint for a chilly Autumn's day. Dark in colour with a rich, fruity taste, it was in perfect condition and went down a treat. I then opted for a half of the Fuller's seasonal Black Cab Stout. This was a perfectly pleasant stout with the coffee and toffee flavours present and correct, but it seemed to play it safe taste wise. Nothing too strong or threatening, it was almost like a stout for beginners. If you're ever unfortunate to be in Croydon and want a drink I can definitely recommend this place. Good beer, good atmosphere and also less chance of bumping into the unsavoury characters you get in the The George down the road.

The General Wolfe in Westerham is a pub I have blogged about previously. Since that last post, the place has been taken over by a new landlord, has had a refurb and has lost its place in the Good Beer Guide. I made a return visit last weekend to see how the place was post-refurbishment. Walking in it was initially hard to tell the difference the refurb had made. The layout is pretty much the same and the general decor hasn't changed much. But the furniture has been replaced and is looking much fresher, and the bar appears to have been extended, with the number of handpumps increased from three to five.

The beer selection was never very exotic pre-refurb but the ale was always in good condition. Now with an expanded range I'm pleased to say the beer is still in good nick. I tried the house beer, General Wolfe from Greene King. I suspect this is a re-badged beer, I initially thought maybe Old Speckled Hen, although it was only 3.9%. It was pretty good, a full bodied bitter with a fruity hoppy finish. I also tried a half of the guest beer, Brewers Gold from Whistable Brewery, which wasn't as good but was still pleasant with gentle light bitter notes. A food menu was available but I didn't see anybody eating, even on a busy Saturday afternoon. It looks like the regulars come here for a pint rather than a bite to eat.

With the decent beer and polite, prompt service this pub was looking like a winner. But unfortunately the atmosphere was a bit like having a pint in a retirement home. Me and The Lovely Jemma were the youngest people there by a long, long way. It was all very cosy but I started feeling a bit uncomfortable and we had to leave after a couple of halves as we just felt out of place there. It was the first pub I'd been to in a long time where the clientèle was exclusively oldies. Maybe at other times the pub has more mix in the customer age group.

That's it for now. See you next Sunday!

Westerham, General Wolfe and Kitchen Aids

I paid a visit to Westerham last weekend, a quaint little village in Kent not far from Bromley. Whenever I'm going somewhere for the first time I do what every self-respecting beer nerd with a internt connection does – look up what the best pubs are in the area at beerintheevening.com (or BITE.) It's true that the people who leave comments on there prefer a certain type of pub – the more old fashioned, quiet and devoid of anyone under 30 it is the better. Except for pubs in London where all that matters is that the pub serves a ridiculous amount of ale and that there is nobody there in a suit. God help you if you're a landlord and your pub plays loud music, has bright lights or a chav accidentally wanders in and orders a Fosters while a BITE user is there – that's an immediate 1.5/10 score and your pub shunned by beard wielding ale geeks forever.

To be honest all review websites are generally a bit of a minefield, as the majority of reviewers are schizophrenic nutjobs who only award one or five stars to everything. TripAdvisor reviewers are usually the worst, generally consisting of complaining Americas with reviews along the lines of “the room was fabulous, the scenery amazing, the food fantastic but the bell hop handed my bag to me using his right hand which is of course terribly offensive and rude ONE STAR.” In fact some reviewers are so bad Channel 4 did a documentary about TripAdvisor, with tales of downtrodden hotel landlords having to close down their business because of some bonkers reviewer starting a hate campaign because "the toilet flush only lasted five seconds, completely inadequate to clear the enormous turd I'd deposited in there and causing great embarrassment to me and my miserable frigid wife ONE STAR."

I am the destroyer of meats and the creator
of dinners.

But I digress. I've passed through Westerham a few times and there were a couple of pubs that looked nice, and BITE agreed that they were worth visiting. The first stop for me and The Lovely Jemma was the General Wolfe, which is a few minutes walk away from the village centre. Before going there we first had to drag ourselves away from the village cookery shop. Every time I go into a cookery shop I want to buy everything in there. The ridiculous novelty salt and pepper pots no doubt shaped like barnyard animals. The hilarious range of whisks and cutlery no doubt shaped like barnyard animals. And the Kitchen Aids, monstrous blenders from America that could quite easily destroy some barnyard animals. The main reason I would ever consider getting married is so I can put a Kitchen Aid on the wedding list. And a Playstation 3. If I'm going to commit to something for such a long length of time I might as well enjoy myself.

The Gangly Ghoul. Yummy. And spooky.
Yooky, if you will. Or Summy.

Walking into the General Wolfe we were greeted by the landlord, one punter and a trio of dogs. The punter and two of the dogs promptly left leaving just me and TLJ as the only customers left in the pub. The landlord turned out to be a lovely bloke and with the log fire burning away and the pub dog scampering about it was a pleasant atmosphere. The pub is tied with Greene King and the seasonal Gangly Ghoul was on offer. This dark bitter was in top condition and was an excellent pint. The landlord also had a Cains ale on tap but he wasn't going to serve it until the evening when it was ready. A shame as I love a Cains ale and you rarely see them in the South but good on him for not serving it until he was happy it was ready. We tucked into a tasty lunch as locals stopped by for a quick pint. As we were leaving a few regulars were at the bar creating a buzzy atmosphere. A very pleasant pub and I look forward to going back.

We also stopped into the Grasshopper on the Green, a large multi room pub slap bang in the centre of the village, next to the green funnily enough. This was a food orientated pub but they were quite happy for people to just have a drink. Unlike some foody pubs we were even allowed to sit at a table despite not ordering food! There wasn't even a customary evil glare from the staff. I felt truly honoured. They have a ale specially made for them by the local Westerham Brewery. Sadly I've forgotten what is was called but it wasn't a particulary nice pint, which was a shame. The pub was pleasant enough, with a lovely fire burning and the regulars were having a grand old time.

Overall it was a very pleasant afternoon, and the General Wolfe is well worth stopping in to if you're near by.

Hello! I'm the chap who writes the image captions for this blog. If you're reading this, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SEND HELP. Dave has broken both my knees now and won't let me leave the house. Many thanks.