The Long Pond Micropub, Eltham

One of the benefits of living in South London is that there's so much change going on compared to the North. Most of North London has already been built up, gentrified, and is now catering for older types who can afford the ludicrously overpriced houses there, or got in years ago when there was a slim chance of affording them, and these oldies don't particularly like change. Well that's my (most likely rubbish) opinion anyway. Meanwhile everybody else is moving to the South, and new stuff is cropping up all the time. I've only been in SE London for two years and much has changed pub wise. When I first moved to the Mottingham area there was a chronic lack of decent boozers, apart from the excellent Park Tavern in Eltham town centre. The closest pub to me, The Prince of Wales, doesn't serve real ale and judging by the clientele standing outside happily puffing away in their tracksuits, next to a giant van labelled the "mobile tattoo parlor" it doesn't look like the kind of place a middle class Times reader like myself would want a drink.

Over the two years things have got better, with the reopened and excellent Baring Hall Hotel only a 25 minute walk (or five minute bus ride) away, serving all my real ale and decent food needs. The Old Post Office, a grubby booze barn that used to cater to pissed up underage drinkers looking for a reliable source of Blue WKD, closed down and became the Eltham GPO, another decent ale and food pub. Both the Baring Hall and Eltham GPO are owned by Antic, who are opening up respectable pubs all over South London but they do follow a (reliable) formula - distressed chic interiors, vintage furniture, reliable ales and good food. It's good but it all starts feeling a little formulaic after the fifth Antic pub visited.

I've also been lucky to have an excellent micropub open "sort of" near me - well thirty minutes on the bus. One Inn The Wood is a superb little boozer in the leafy suburb of Petts Wood. Now I'm even luckier with another micropub opening a little bit closer to me. The Long Pond is a 10 minute walk from Eltham High Street, in a quaint little parade of shops. The frontage is unassuming, with frosted glass making it difficult to see what is inside. But venture in and you're greeted by a surprisingly big room, with wooden benches and tables down each side, and a small serving area at the back. Unusually for a micropub there is even enough room for a second, snug like room with comfortable tables and chairs. To be honest the size of the place is stretching the definition of a "micro" pub.

Despite the large size the place does adhere to other micropub ideals. There are no fruit machines, no music, in fact nothing to distract you from the beer and real life conversation - speaking on mobile phones is also forbidden. Like One Inn The Wood, The Long Pond sells only local ales from the Kent and London areas, along with a small selection of real cider and soft drinks. There's also a small food offering of sausage rolls, pork pies and ploughmans. The ale is served from a small room behind the bar, and all the ones I tried were in good condition. Mildly Rockin from Rockin Robin was a straightforward and tasty mild, and Powder Burn from the Musket Brewery was a solid porter, although it looked like it was called Powder Bum on the chalkboard advertising the beers. The highlight was Good Sheppard from Goody Ales, an excellent and very tasty best bitter, expertly hopped and a pleasure to drink.

Micros are designed to encourage conversation among strangers but when me and The Lovely Jemma visited in the week between Christmas and New Years Day the place was full of mates of the landlord, presumably in town for the Christmas break. This made the atmosphere slightly awkward as we felt we were gatecrashing a party that we hadn't been invited too. However this didn't detract from the quality of ale and the excellent ploughmans lunch we enjoyed, and I look forward to returning. I was speaking to one punter at the bar who lives across the road from the place and he couldn't believe his luck that a quality pub like this had opened so close to him. Let's hope the quality continues and this place builds up a friendly, welcoming atmosphere.

Football and jousting

Eltham Palace is one those local gems that you may not visit often but you're glad it's there. It's strange to come across the grand palatial grounds nestled in the bland suburban sprawl of Eltham. I went inside the Palace grounds for the first time yesterday for their annual "Grand Medieval Joust" event, which was a lot of fun. The grounds had been turned into a full fledged medieval "faire", with plenty of stalls, activities, and portly men squeezed into chain-mail and armour. It was all entertaining and even better there was a beer tent, the aptly named "Stagger Inn" selling real ales and ciders. The beers were listed as "Tudor Tipple" and the "Stanley Surprise" but they were actually Bath Ales Gem and Barnsey, both of them in good nick. The chap behind the bar mentioned that he liked Gem because it travels well and is ready to go in three hours. The flavours backed up his claim, it was in great condition with plenty of subtle fruity flavours. If you're ever in Eltham take the time to visit the palace, it's well worth it and there's bugger all else to do in Eltham anyway (except maybe visit The Park Tavern or the Eltham GPO)

It's World Cup time and I've made the terrible mistake of watching the England games. What a frustrating experience it is, watching a shower of clowns attempting to work together and get a ball into the back of a pretty wide net. Now they're safely knocked out I'll probably not watch the rest of the cup as I'm one of those terrible people who only watches football during the World Cup or Euro championships, and only when England are playing. I just don't have the stamina to watch overpaid knuckleheads kick a ball around for ninety minutes of which about seven of those minutes contain any excitement, the boredom and the jealously of how much they're getting paid is too much for me.

I watched the first England game at the Baring Hall Hotel, which has really come along since my first visit there. It's become a true local gem, with friendly staff and an excellent selection of ales, although they have gone a bit cider crazy over the past few weeks. What I like about the Baring Hall is that even though it's the only pub in the Grove Park/Downham area it hasn't rested on its laurels and it is determined to offer a quality pub experience. They're now serving food and it's really good, and the beer is top notch. During the game I enjoyed a By The Horns Stiff Upper Lip and a Hastings Best, both of them in excellent condition and very tasty. Sadly the football wasn't anywhere as good as the beer, although it was fun and a little surreal being in a pub at 1am watching the football. I'd like the Baring Hall to make it into the Good Beer Guide this year, but I'd also like the place to be the little secret it is at the moment and not overrun with beardies hogging all the tables and selling the place out of pork scratchings.

The second England game I watched at home, using the terrible ITV Player, which meant having to watch a poor quality match in poor quality video - not exactly a winning combination. I had a top notch beer to "enjoy" the game with, Pressure Drop Stokey Brown. I'd forgotten just how rich and nutty this beer is, a great bitter and it makes such a nice change from the usual IPA's and Porters that flood the craft beer market.

Next week I'm hoping to pay a visit a new micropub which has opened not far from me in Petts Wood, One in the Wood. I was actually thinking of opening a micropub in Petts Wood before realising I'd be terrible at it and it would shut within days, so I'm interested to see how the micropub is doing. If I don't make it there I'm sure I'll find something else to witter on about next Sunday. See you then!

Eltham GPO and The Claret, Addiscombe

I recently had the chance to visit two pubs nearby to me that I'd heard good things about but hadn't had the chance to visit. First up was the Eltham GPO. This is a recently opened Antic pub in the suburban mediocrity that is Eltham. The town already has one decent boozer, the Park Tavern, and the GPO is conveniently located on the same road as the Tavern. In a former life the GPO was called The Old Post Office, and it was a chav infested Jaegarbomb spewing hellhole best avoided by everyone. Now that Antic have got their grubby mitts on it the place has been spruced up, but also spruced down, being furnished with vintage furniture and sporting exposed piping and walls as part of the decor.

Having been impressed with the beer selection at the Baring Hall Hotel, another new opening from Antic in nearby Grove Park, I was looking forward to more exciting beers here. However the landlord has played it safe with the beer selection at the GPO, with five solid if not very exciting ales on offer, including Timothy Taylor Landlord. I opted for a pint of local brewery Hopstuff Fusilier, which was a classic best bitter. It was in good nick and went down perfectly with a very tasty Fish and Chip dinner, chosen from a food menu which again plays it very safe with pub classics such as sausage and mash. I did enjoy my time here and would stop in if I happened to be in the area, but unlike the Baring Hall I didn't feel it was a pub worth going out of the way to visit. Hopefully with two pubs in such close proximity to each other, the Park Tavern and Eltham GPO might step up their game ale selection wise.

Over to Croydon which despite its grim exterior and sometimes questionable inhabitants, it is bereft with decent pubs. In nearby Addiscombe is the Claret Free House. Unassuming from the outside, it looks like it could be a wine bar or restaurant. But inside there's no doubting this is a traditional local boozer, with a long bar and mock tudor interior. Five handpumps displayed a tantalizing selection of beer.

The Claret is "famous" for serving Palmers Best Bitter, with a certificate proudly displayed proclaiming that they have served over 1,000,000 pints. It would be rude not to try it and after a sip I could see why they sell so much. This was a easy drinking, slightly floral ale that went down a treat, perfect for a session or a quick one after work. Next up was W.J King Lost Kingdom. This was a heavier bitter, with gentle raisin notes in the aftertaste. It was fine but not as charming as the Palmers. Finally there was the Westerham Puddledock Porter. With its low ABV this was a light and refreshing porter, not too heavy on the coffee notes. This is the first porter I've ever described as refreshing.

A small collection of regulars were in, and the crowd got bigger as the afternoon wore on towards clocking off time. A telly in the corner was showing the cricket and I got the pleasure of watching England perform terribly in the Twenty20. It was a relaxed, welcoming atmosphere and although I was the youngest customer in there by far, I never felt uncomfortable. A pub well worth visiting if you're in the area.

Park Tavern and Bankers Draft, Eltham

I've now been in South East London near the Eltham area for three months. Living down here has its advantages - it's affordable, fairly safe and it's near the M25 for a quick escape. There is one glaring problem though - a lack of decent pubs. Most of the pubs in the area aren't particularly appealing, with the "eclectic" customers mainly sticking to lager or Blue WKD, from what I can tell when I hurriedly walk past the pubs desperately trying to avoid eye contact. Sometimes they're drinking both, resulting in them leaning against a lamppost puking up liquid that's the colour of every Skittle mixed together. As a skinny, white, and slightly snobbish gentleman of 31 years old, I don't really want to drink in these places in fear of my face being punched or glassed in.

However there is one nugget I've found in this sea of crap. One pub trying to turn the tide of sub-par pubs in Eltham is the Park Tavern. This little boozer just off the high street is a welcome respite from the grim lager dispensing pubs/cattle markets, including the Old Post Office just across the road. Walking into this small, narrow pub I was warmed with the sight of several handpumps with a selection of tasty ales on offer. This is such a rare sight in Eltham that for a second I thought I had actually been glassed to death by one of the patrons of the Old Post Office and I was having a delirious hallucination while doctors frantically tried to save my life. I soon realised I was in fact still alive and firmly in reality when I was charged £3.75 for a pint of Rudgate Ruby Mild. There is no way I would charge myself that much for a pint in my dreams. The pint was very tasty though, in good condition and the subtle chocolate and mocha flavours coming through well.

Despite all the good things the Park Tavern had going for it, including a warm buzzy atmosphere, friendly staff and a very well kept pint of mild, I just found the prices to be too much for a pleasant local. I haven't returned since my first visit because if I'm going to pay high prices for beer I may as well do it in one of the many pubs in Central London after work, which offer a more exciting selection, rather than in the wilds of South East London. It's just too high a price to tempt me out for a couple of pints.

After my one and only visit to the Park Tavern I thought I may as well stop by the nearby Wetherspoons in Eltham before heading home. The Bankers Draft is tiny for a Wetherspoons, in fact it is rumoured to be their smallest outlet. A decent selection of ales were on offer and I went for the St Davids Ale from Brains. The beer was in OK nick, and it was stunningly cheap compared to the Park Tavern. But this is a odd Wetherspoons with many a "character" to be spotted. Despite the pub being very small, everybody was keeping to themselves and there wasn't much mixing amongst the clientèle. To be honest I felt this was a blessing and me and The Lovely Jemma were able to enjoy our drinks in relative peace without having to strike conversation with what appeared to be the local crazies.

Apart from these two pubs I haven't found anything nearby worth drinking. In fact since I moved to the area in February two pubs have closed down and one was nearly bought out by a local developer. Somebody please come to the Mottingham/Eltham borders and build a nice, welcoming pub with a decent selection of ales. You'll be guaranteed at least one customer! I'll probably stop by as well.