Beer festivals a go go - CAMRA Great British Beer Festival 2013 and Woodies, New Malden

Last week was a good time for drinking copious amounts of ale. First up was a visit to the CAMRA Great British Beer Festival 2013. This is the second time I've visited the festival at Olympia, and it's a much more pleasant space than its former home at the dark, dank Earl Courts. The light airy building is very welcoming and the lay out this year was great, with the bars spaced out nicely and avoiding the cramped conditions that build up as the day goes on. The only downside is that there never seems to be enough seating, and as I get older and creakier this is getting more important for me. To be fair most of the patrons who did grab a seat were probably way past creaking territory and were approaching snapping and cracking, but it would have been nice to have more places to rest my tired feet and beery head.

The only picture I took at the festival and it's not even indoors. Useless.

The Championship beer of Britain, announced at the festival, was the 1872 Porter from the Elland brewery. I managed to grab a sample and although it's a very solid porter, with a great malt start and a fruity finish, it felt a bit of a safe bet for a championship beer. With so many exciting breweries and beers appearing over the past couple of years, it's surprising that CAMRA claim that the best ale of the year is something that feels decidedly old fashioned. Maybe CAMRA are rebelling against the craft ale scene with this choice or maybe there's no agenda at all. Who knows?! Certainly not me. Not going to stop me from blogging about it though.

As usual there was an excellent selection of ales on offer and I sampled a fair few of them. Highlights included the Chocolate and Vanilla Stout from Titanic which was an excellent ale, with a wonderful sweet aroma leading to a perfect balance of sweetness and burnt hops.The Triple Chocoholic from Saltaire was another winner, with wonderful, subtle chocolate flavours and a good, long dry finish. Fine stuff all round. The American section was very busy, as it has been at past festivals, and by the time I got there there wasn't a lot of choice left. I tried a half of the Snake Dog IPA from Flying Dog which was a very solid American pale with strong hoppy flavours, but like a lot of American beers it was very boozy (7.3%) - almost unnecessarily so.

There were a couple of duffers. Sharp's Own from Sharps was a rather insipid effort at a golden ale, with a rather limp and watery taste that all beers from InBev seem to suffer from these days. It was still passable, and nothing like the horror of A-pork-alypse from Brains. A porter with bacon flavour added, it tasted exactly like taking a sip of a sub standard porter and then shoving bacon fries into your gob while still swallowing your booze. It wasn't completely horrible and after one sip I didn't start vomiting all over the floor while CAMRA stewards desperately threw sand on the floor in an effort to soak up my technicolour stream, but it wasn't a very pleasurable ale. Much like casting Ashton Kutcher as Steve Jobs, it was a brave but ultimately stupid effort.

Despite a couple of iffy beers I had a great time at the festival and it's probably the best one I've been to in the last six years or so. The food on offer was tremendous and I managed to get through a pork pie, scotch egg, wild boar burger, pork scratchings and seafood medley. In case you're wondering I didn't eat it all at the same time, had I done so I think I would have tested the very limits of how much vomit one man can produce.

The crazy decor at Woodies.

On Saturday I paid a visit to another beer festival, this time at Woodies in New Malden in SW London. Woodies is a former sports hall turned into a pub. Walking in you're bombarded with sports memorabilia everywhere, plastered on the floor, walls and ceiling. There's also a lot of funeral programmes (presumably of patrons past) dotted about, which seemed a bit morbid. Overall though it's all very eclectic and there was a jolly atmosphere. There were plenty of tasty ales on offer. Park Life from Windsor and Eton was a good start, a light hoppy session beer that I would be quite happy to drink all day. 80 Shilling from Dark Star was a fine attempt at a dark Scottish ale, with a strong malty flavour and undertones of orange peel. Good stuff.

The American Pale Ale by Clarence & Fredericks is probably one of the best things to come out of Croydon, where the brewers are based. Good hoppy flavours and floral notes made this a solid attempt at a pale ale. Frankly I was amazed the beer made it to the festival at all and the delivery wasn't hijacked by a gang of Croydon's drug fuelled crazies, or some bored kids. Finally, Good Health from Goody Ales was a solid golden ale sporting a nice dry finish, and a slight hint of Tim Brooke-Taylor.

A petting zoo was there for the day so I got to laugh at some sheep, ducks and goats, the primary reason for the existence of any petting zoo. I gave a wide berth to the geese though as I didn't fancy running, screaming, beers in hand, being chased by the orange beaked, beady eyed, honking bastards as they try to nip my legs into pieces one peck at a time. The day was further sullied by the arrival of my least favourite amateur paganists, the hated and sinister Morris Dancers. Thankfully this troupe, although enthusiastic, weren't very good, so I was pretty sure their bizarre ritual wasn't going to resurrect any ancient Pagan Gods this time.

My camera spontaneously combusted shortly after this photo was taken.

I had a great time in Woodies despite the Morris Dancers and if it wasn't located in what appeared to be the Twilight Zone I'd make more regular visits there. If you happen to be in the New Malden area it's well worth stopping by the place for a drink or five.

Next update will be the conclusion of my jaunt around Preston. I've also made a recent visit to Bath which I'll no doubt be blabbering on about. See you soon!

Bricklayers Arms Yorkshire Beer Festival

I can only hope the gates to heaven look like this.

I made a welcome visit last Saturday to the wonderful Bricklayers Arms in Putney for their Yorkshire ale festival. The Bricklayers is a real gem of a pub with a warm, welcoming atmosphere as soon as you enter the front door. A roaring fireplace is to your right and a fully stocked bar is straight ahead with a fabulous selection of ales. If I wasn't such a self concious chap I'd probably dance a little jig every time I walk in. 

For their ale festivals they put out a few extra barrels in the beer "garden." Not really sure a concrete patio counts as a garden but it will do. I went through a few ales but the highlight was the "Nettlethrasher" from Elland Brewery, a refreshing and wonderfully hopped ale that was a pleasure to drink. The lowpoint was the Theakstons "Lightfoot", a light golden ale which sadly failed to taste of anything much at all. The best named ale was the "Smutty Mutt" from Marston Moor which thankfully didn't taste of a naughty dog with an eye for the ladies. Part of the motley crew who came along to the festival were the Beta Males, a comedy sketch group who would you believe it are up for an award from Chortle. I hear they are funny and I did once laugh at something they said so why not vote for them here. (Editors Note: Guys I expect a fiver for doing this for you. I'm sure the votes from my two regular readers will push you into victory!)

The Bricklayers is a great pub and I always enjoy visiting but unfortunately every time I've been there (twice) there have been morris dancers doing their pagan shenanigans outside. I have covered my deep rooted fear of morris dancers in a previous update but suffice to say they still scare the hell out of me. I made the realisation that what terrifies me is that there's absolutely nothing normal about them, no refuge from their insanity. The sinister hats, the rosette nipples, the wooden sticks perfect for bludgeoning and the never ending jingling a bells ensure they are the stuff of nightmares. Not even the sight of a little girl trying to join in the dances while holding a twig could shake off the fear. They are truly unnatural beings. I fear the day their pagan ritual of knocking wooden sticks together and singing songs about saucy ladies actually works and the evil Morris Overlord rises from the ground and smites us all with a giant wooden stick while ringing bells incessantly.

AAAAAAAAAARGH. I tried to take more photos of them but my camera burst into flames in my hands.

This is going to be my last update for a while as I'm off to sunny America for two weeks next Wednesday. But don't worry. I'll be visiting every micro brewery I can so I can bore you with the details when I return. If you know of any good drinking places in Los Angeles, Las Vegas or San Francisco why not leave a comment and let me know?

Bricklayers Arms Derbyshire Beer Festival

Last Saturday I paid a visit to the Bricklayers Arms in Putney to participate in their Derbyshire Ale Festival. It was my first visit to the Bricklayers after hearing very good things about it. My Putney friends are always raving about it and the pub has won several CAMRA awards. CAMRA usually recommend good pubs but they do sometimes favour establishments where I'm the only customer who doesn't clearly remember the Callaghan government. Luckily the Bricklayers turned out to be a real charmer,with a surprisingly roomy interior and a pleasant, albeit concrete, garden running down the side. The atmosphere was jolly with a friendly crowd in attendance, a nice mixture of young and old folk although marred slightly by some morris dancers (more on them later.) A dog was also spotted. Sadly there was a lack of a busty wench behind the bar but you can't have everything.

Considering the festival started on Thursday there was still a fair bit of choice available. Things got off to a fine start with a very pleasant half of Spire “Brassed Off.” Thankfully it wasn't made from the ashes of Pete Postlethwaite, and instead was a lovely hopped session ale with a light fruity taste. Perfect for the sunny weather that day. This was followed by Amber “EPA,” a low strength (4%) continental style brew that reminded me of the sort of beer you may get in Belgium, without blowing your head off from alcohol strength. A good taste with a rather fine finish.

While sipping the EPA I stepped outside to watch the morris dancers perform their strange pagan ritual. To be honest they scare me. The fact that they're quite happy to dress up and dance in their disturbing way is a triumph of brainwashing and I bow down to the alien overlords behind it all. These guys were good at what they do (using ritual dance to communicate the aliens mission status to the home planet) but I was annoyed by a young hipster morris dancer wearing oh so cool dorky glasses and smacking his stick in a ironic way. I was tempted to punch him in the face in a ironic fashion but instead I just sipped my pint of EPA while glaring at him. 

Watching them dance in their unnerving way I got to thinking that morris dancers would make a great villain, and that somebody needs to make a film where evil morris dancers hit innocents with their sticks before sucking their souls out, all with the incessant ringing of jangly bells in the background. Actually on second thoughts they best not do that or I'll never sleep again. Eventually I had to stop watching the spectacle before I too was drawn into the hive mind and became a morris dancer myself. 

Plenty of further half pints were drunk. Ales that stood out were Muirhouse “Magnum Mild” which wasn't part of the festival but was one of the ales on one of the twelve(!) handpumps This was a great example of a mild with a fine coffee flavour with chocolate undertones. Very suppable. The Thornbridge “Seaforth” stood out for the wrong reasons – sadly this was probably the most disappointing brew I've had from the usually excellent Thornbridge brewery. A 5.9% IPA it had a rather average, even boring flavour and aroma. Thornbridge have been on a good run recently so I felt a bit let down.

I foolishly turned my back on the dancers at one point, and when I turned back round they were IN THE BUILDING.

Thankfully the Thornbridge “Kipling” came on later in the day and was in fine form. A combination of the previous ales and the excitement of seeing Kipling did unfortunately make me run around the pub like a twat yelling at my mates “The Kipling is on! The Kipling is on! You must drink!” over and over again. Those who did try it agreed that this fantastic hoppy ale with a distinct grapefruit flavour was a fine pint. Although they may have been saying that out of fear of the crazed look in my eyes.

After that my afternoon at the pub came to an end. A fine time all round and I will certainly be returning to the Bricklayers in the future. Hopefully without the morris dancers this time. I can still hear the jingling of bells when I sleep. They're out there. Waiting for me.