Tap East, Stratford and The Bricklayers Arms, Putney

The gigantic Westfield shopping centre in Stratford has never appealed to me. To be presented with that many shops in one sprawling place scares the hell out of me and just the thought of the place sends me into a cold sweat. It doesn't help that Westfield is pretty much unnavigable inside and you just have to hope the bright light you're heading for is an exit and not a particularly well lit entrance to Boots. There are probably people in there who have never found the exit and have just resigned themselves to living in the shopping centre, like Tom Hanks in saccharine "The Terminal." Except these poor souls have got a better option of buying a nice pair of shoes or, as they're in Stratford, getting stabbed.

There is a glimmer of hope for the seasoned ale drinker in this bastion of capitalism. Head towards the back of shopping centre near Waitrose (which looks sorely out of place in Stratford) and you'll find Tap East. The modern interior is simple and even a little dull but the main attraction isn't the décor but the beer. Tap East has a microbrewery on site and you can see its gleaming tanks filled with mirth making juice through large glass windows at the back of the bar. I was visiting one of their festivals so there was a very good selection of guest beers, and it also featured collaborations between Tap East and other breweries.

Things got off to a good start with Hoxton Special IPA, a hoppy, fruity treat with a deceptively high ABV. It's OK though, I was sticking to halves, what could possibly go wrong? Next up was The Boss by Roosters. Thankfully it didn't taste of Bruce Springsteen, but it didn't really taste like ale either. Instead it tasted distinctly of grapefruit juice. Despite this it was oddly charming. The only collaboration ale I tried was the Beer Called Framboise, made in conjunction with Howling Hops. Despite the name I didn't twig this would be a raspberry flavoured beer, mainly because I'm an idiot. I'm not usually a fan of fruit beers. I find them too sickly and just a bit weird. After I took my first sip my immediate thought was "Oh God this is a fruit beer, where is the nearest toilet?" Luckily it was actually a really enjoyable beer. A nice dry flavour but plenty of fruity goodness as well. I wouldn't drink more than a half but it was good tipple.

Lone Ranger by Tap East was a fine if unmemorable English bitter. Texas Ranger by Mikkeller was very memorable though. This was a bit of a bonkers pint, as to be expected from those great danes over at Mikkeller. Sadly not great danes as in the dog, but rather the Danish people, although a bunch of dogs brewing beer would be pretty cool. Although I imagine the beer would probably taste a bit ruff. The Texas Ranger was a malty beer with chipotle chucked in as well. To be honest it was all a bit of a horror show but it was oddly drinkable. By this time of the night I had drunk beers with a combined percentage of about 50% so that probably helped the flavour. I wouldn't of drank more than a half of it though.

Food was provided by a man outside cooking ham, potatoes, and cheese in a massive pan. It seemed legit and I couldn't say no to this fatty feast so I bulked up on the delicious carbs. I thoroughly enjoyed my time at Tap East and it has definitely edged out the King Eddies as my favourite pub in Stratford.

I recently paid a return visit to the Bricklayers Arms in Putney, which is essentially a permanent beer festival - it even says this on a sign outside the building. It was a pleasure as always and some excellent beers were on offer. The highlights were the Triple fff Ramble Tamble, an excellent, fruity pale ale that went down a treat. In fact Triple fff had another winner with Apache Rose Peacock, a oddly named American IPA full of fruity goodness. Red Dawn by the Red Squirrel Brewery was also a treat. Thankfully it didn't taste of Patrick Swayze but was instead a very pleasant mild with a great rounded flavour.

As there was no official beer festival on I was free from the tyranny of the Morris Men who like to show up with their devil worshipper ways during festival events. In fact the pub was pretty much empty for the majority of the Saturday afternoon I was there, with it getting a little more busy as the evening went on. An excellent pub like this deserves a bit more patronage from the good folk of Putney.

The next update will be about my tales 'oop North as I visit the fine pubs of Preston. It will even have pictures! See you again soon.

Bricklayers Arms Yorkshire Beer Festival

I can only hope the gates to heaven look like this.

I made a welcome visit last Saturday to the wonderful Bricklayers Arms in Putney for their Yorkshire ale festival. The Bricklayers is a real gem of a pub with a warm, welcoming atmosphere as soon as you enter the front door. A roaring fireplace is to your right and a fully stocked bar is straight ahead with a fabulous selection of ales. If I wasn't such a self concious chap I'd probably dance a little jig every time I walk in. 

For their ale festivals they put out a few extra barrels in the beer "garden." Not really sure a concrete patio counts as a garden but it will do. I went through a few ales but the highlight was the "Nettlethrasher" from Elland Brewery, a refreshing and wonderfully hopped ale that was a pleasure to drink. The lowpoint was the Theakstons "Lightfoot", a light golden ale which sadly failed to taste of anything much at all. The best named ale was the "Smutty Mutt" from Marston Moor which thankfully didn't taste of a naughty dog with an eye for the ladies. Part of the motley crew who came along to the festival were the Beta Males, a comedy sketch group who would you believe it are up for an award from Chortle. I hear they are funny and I did once laugh at something they said so why not vote for them here. (Editors Note: Guys I expect a fiver for doing this for you. I'm sure the votes from my two regular readers will push you into victory!)

The Bricklayers is a great pub and I always enjoy visiting but unfortunately every time I've been there (twice) there have been morris dancers doing their pagan shenanigans outside. I have covered my deep rooted fear of morris dancers in a previous update but suffice to say they still scare the hell out of me. I made the realisation that what terrifies me is that there's absolutely nothing normal about them, no refuge from their insanity. The sinister hats, the rosette nipples, the wooden sticks perfect for bludgeoning and the never ending jingling a bells ensure they are the stuff of nightmares. Not even the sight of a little girl trying to join in the dances while holding a twig could shake off the fear. They are truly unnatural beings. I fear the day their pagan ritual of knocking wooden sticks together and singing songs about saucy ladies actually works and the evil Morris Overlord rises from the ground and smites us all with a giant wooden stick while ringing bells incessantly.

AAAAAAAAAARGH. I tried to take more photos of them but my camera burst into flames in my hands.

This is going to be my last update for a while as I'm off to sunny America for two weeks next Wednesday. But don't worry. I'll be visiting every micro brewery I can so I can bore you with the details when I return. If you know of any good drinking places in Los Angeles, Las Vegas or San Francisco why not leave a comment and let me know?

Bricklayers Arms Derbyshire Beer Festival

Last Saturday I paid a visit to the Bricklayers Arms in Putney to participate in their Derbyshire Ale Festival. It was my first visit to the Bricklayers after hearing very good things about it. My Putney friends are always raving about it and the pub has won several CAMRA awards. CAMRA usually recommend good pubs but they do sometimes favour establishments where I'm the only customer who doesn't clearly remember the Callaghan government. Luckily the Bricklayers turned out to be a real charmer,with a surprisingly roomy interior and a pleasant, albeit concrete, garden running down the side. The atmosphere was jolly with a friendly crowd in attendance, a nice mixture of young and old folk although marred slightly by some morris dancers (more on them later.) A dog was also spotted. Sadly there was a lack of a busty wench behind the bar but you can't have everything.

Considering the festival started on Thursday there was still a fair bit of choice available. Things got off to a fine start with a very pleasant half of Spire “Brassed Off.” Thankfully it wasn't made from the ashes of Pete Postlethwaite, and instead was a lovely hopped session ale with a light fruity taste. Perfect for the sunny weather that day. This was followed by Amber “EPA,” a low strength (4%) continental style brew that reminded me of the sort of beer you may get in Belgium, without blowing your head off from alcohol strength. A good taste with a rather fine finish.

While sipping the EPA I stepped outside to watch the morris dancers perform their strange pagan ritual. To be honest they scare me. The fact that they're quite happy to dress up and dance in their disturbing way is a triumph of brainwashing and I bow down to the alien overlords behind it all. These guys were good at what they do (using ritual dance to communicate the aliens mission status to the home planet) but I was annoyed by a young hipster morris dancer wearing oh so cool dorky glasses and smacking his stick in a ironic way. I was tempted to punch him in the face in a ironic fashion but instead I just sipped my pint of EPA while glaring at him. 

Watching them dance in their unnerving way I got to thinking that morris dancers would make a great villain, and that somebody needs to make a film where evil morris dancers hit innocents with their sticks before sucking their souls out, all with the incessant ringing of jangly bells in the background. Actually on second thoughts they best not do that or I'll never sleep again. Eventually I had to stop watching the spectacle before I too was drawn into the hive mind and became a morris dancer myself. 

Plenty of further half pints were drunk. Ales that stood out were Muirhouse “Magnum Mild” which wasn't part of the festival but was one of the ales on one of the twelve(!) handpumps This was a great example of a mild with a fine coffee flavour with chocolate undertones. Very suppable. The Thornbridge “Seaforth” stood out for the wrong reasons – sadly this was probably the most disappointing brew I've had from the usually excellent Thornbridge brewery. A 5.9% IPA it had a rather average, even boring flavour and aroma. Thornbridge have been on a good run recently so I felt a bit let down.

I foolishly turned my back on the dancers at one point, and when I turned back round they were IN THE BUILDING.

Thankfully the Thornbridge “Kipling” came on later in the day and was in fine form. A combination of the previous ales and the excitement of seeing Kipling did unfortunately make me run around the pub like a twat yelling at my mates “The Kipling is on! The Kipling is on! You must drink!” over and over again. Those who did try it agreed that this fantastic hoppy ale with a distinct grapefruit flavour was a fine pint. Although they may have been saying that out of fear of the crazed look in my eyes.

After that my afternoon at the pub came to an end. A fine time all round and I will certainly be returning to the Bricklayers in the future. Hopefully without the morris dancers this time. I can still hear the jingling of bells when I sleep. They're out there. Waiting for me.